I'm sad all of the time!?

I'm a 14 yr old freshman in highschool. i have been in a consistent deppression l8ly. this boy i let get 2 my heart broke it and tore up the lil self-esteem i had, i feel my personality is lacking and that no one likes it, i dont feel pretty most of the time (i usually think im cute but everyone, excludin family, will call me ugly n fat n everything else), im an excellent student but it seems like thats all i have goin (even though that may seem like enuf), im findin out that most ppl use me and only want my company wen theres an assignment they're unsure about, and the list goes on. idk wat it is. i been prayin, hopin, wishin...n im still stuck. im thinkin its the boy (long story behind him), but ive always had self problems. im pretty sure he's added 2 it tho. he's sent me thru a whirl of emotions..ugh a long n crazy story :( but ive always felt like sorta the odd kid...not officially odd but jus more mature (my parents r much older than most, ikno that adds 2 this) n shy. i love ppl, i love laughin, i love clownin but idk, i jus cant definitely relate 2 the folk my age. the school im at is an all white one (im black btw) and i thought mayb that effected a few things, but everybody else seems 2 squeez in perfectly but me. theres ppl i talk 2 but i kinda have 2 mask myself sumtime. its like im not raunchy n loud enuf, or i aint dingy n slow enuf, idk! i find myself very boring at times, and i kno, or i assume others feel the same way. idk ig i juss aint got that vibe wit certain ppl. or its like im tryin 2 hard n evaluatin 2 hard or sumthin. i jus dont understand. im gonna stop there, thanx and give all the guidance u can pleeez. have a blessed day!